Believe in Us
by Hailaeria
Summary: A deeper exploration of the relationships of the Na'vi of Pandora with a few important changes from the movie, mostly because I don't like Neytiri and Jake together.
1. Chapter 1

"And you may choose a woman," Neytiri said, subdued.

Jake remained fixated on the eerie lavender bioluminescence of the sacred tree, so unlike anything he'd ever seen on Earth. Thus was Pandora. Her words were nearly swallowed up in the pure silence of the forest, a strange phenomenon.

He had known that this moment would come. It had simply been a matter of when. Jake had hoped that this wouldn't have to be how it would transpire.

"We have many fine women," she said, still retaining that same subdued, determined tone. Neytiri often masked how she truly felt with empty words, but Jake wasn't blind. For over three months, they'd spent everyday by one another's side. He knew what was to come. "Ninat is the best singer..." she continued, her voice flat and listless.

Jake's heart ached for Neytiri. He had known that they would be faced with this when she was given the responsibility of training him. Had it been another Na'vi woman, Jake knew that this would not have gone much differently. He was different - alien, and utterly fascinating. He was the shiny new toy to an isolated community; Omaticaya women couldn't simply leave the tribe and seek out a new life. They were utterly limited to all that they knew.

He was still a dreamwalker, a demon in a false body. He couldn't bring himself to live a lie.

"But I don't want Ninat," he found himself stating blatently. It was true, he didn't.

Neytiri continued as if Jake hadn't spoken, "Peyral is best hunter.."

"She is a good hunter," he said, fixatedly. He decided that honesty would be the best course of action. Peyral was the most formidable of the Na'vi women, aside from Neytiri. She reminded him very much of Trudy, strong, beautiful, nonadherent, and independent.

Neytiri slowly turned to meet his eyes, her piercing, golden pair glistening with impending tears.

"Then what, Jake?" she said, her words suddenly venomous.

Her obvious pain over his seeming indifference made Jake's heart ache. He had never wished this breed of hurt on Neytiri. Seeing such a powerful woman, the woman who had made this chapter of his life all that it was, reduced to this level of vulnerability caused Jake to die a little inside.

Jake gently touched Neytiri's beautiful heart-shaped face, cupping it in the palm of his abnormal, four-fingered hand. He expected her to reject this gesture of affection, instead, she sighed deeply and pulled herself towards him. He embraced her slender body, wishing to remain like this for all eternity, wrapped in this innocent, simple expression of love.

"Neytiri," he whispered, "_Oel ngati kameie._" She looked upward into his eyes, her own pair seemingly penetrating his soul with their humbling vulnerability. He wished she wouldn't do that. Not now.

"Jake... I do not understand. Do you... choose me?"

Jake gently unwound her arms from him, still holding her hands. He kept her gaze, now confused and scared.

"I need you to listen to me," Jake said, his voice shaking, "like, really, really listen, because I've never spoken truer words in my entire life than the ones you're about to hear now. I care for you more than I can put into words, but we should never have happened, Neytiri. I'm not one of the Omaticaya, and I never, ever will be, not really-"

"But Jake, I - " she stammered.

"_Tìng mikyun,_ Neytiri! " he said sharply. He had to finish the job. "All the ceremonies and titles of your people will not change the fact that I'm still a human, a dreamwalker. I can walk and speak and look like one of you, but I know that it's all a lie. I wasn't meant for this life, or you, and I can't kid myself anymore."

He felt a singular tear escape the corner of his eye. Neytiri gripped his hands so hard, he thought the small, delicate bones would crack under the pressure. She kept her gaze fixated upon him, but it was blank, glassy, and unreadable. _She_ was somewhere else.

The beautiful, twilit forest seemed to blur around Jake, as all his attention was focused upon Neytiri, still seemingly paralyzed, as he searched for even the most minute indications of a response.

After what seemed like an eternity, she averted her gaze. "You are right," she whispered brokenly, "But why should that matter? That does not mean I cannot love you. Am I not worthy of you, Jake?"

"Neytiri, on Earth, we would say that you are 'out of my league.' I am not what you need. I never should have been here, for God's sake! Hell, you're _too_ worthy for someone like me. You said it yourself, I'm a _skxwang_, a moron! You've known me for three months, how can you base love off of that? You hardly know me!" Jake found himself shouting. Neytiri recoiled, aghast.

"Jake, our Great Mother works in mysterious ways. She brought us together for a reason. I know, when I see you, that you are my_ tshashalia_, the other half of me. I know, Jake!" her melodic voice choked with tears, raising in pitch. "How can you not see?"

He didn't understand how she could lie to herself in the bizarre way she did. Neytiri had a _tshashalia_, he knew it, and it was not him. One day, he hoped she would see the man that had been by her side for her entire life.

"Neytiri, please... It's not me that you love. It's the idea of me, and the idea of falling in love with me and defying everything that your life has been. And I can promise you that I won't be that. Ever. Sooner or later, you always have to wake up."

Jake knew that it was harsh and cruel to say such a thing to the woman who had made him her life for the past few months. The thanks that he gave her for her devotion was a true betrayal. He knew that she would see that, and would have every reason to hate him.

Jake didn't want to be the subject of Neytiri's hatred, but it was the only way. The only way for her to have the life she was entitled to. There was nothing for them, and Jake couldn't spend his life in denial. If you repeat a lie a thousand times, it's still a lie. He could never, ever convince himself differently.

Neytiri couldn't mask her anguish. She screamed something in Na'vi that he couldn't decipher and lunged at him. Jake made no move. He knew she couldn't bring herself to hurt him.

"Go away!" she said, sobbing. "Get away! Never come back!" She crumpled to the ground, shuddering in distress.

Jake wanted desperately to comfort her, but knew that at this point, the battle was lost. He turned away from Neytiri and walked back into the forest in the direction they had come from, praying silently and sincerely to Eywa that Neytiri would find true happiness.


	2. Chapter 2

Neytiri wanted to sink into the earth, to become one with Eywa so she would no longer feel the excruciating internal pain of rejection. She had never felt so alone in her life.

Jake Sully had been every hope she'd had in the past three months. He owed his entire new life to her, and this was the thanks he got? She had let his training be her entire existence for the past few months, had internally denied all she had been taught and had fallen in love with him, and had been certain he'd reciprocated the feeling. He had seemed so fascinated, so intrigued by her, and while she was too proud to ever admit it, she was all the more enamored by him.

Neytiri had never thought she'd feel that deeply for anyone, and certainly not a dreamwalker. Long ago, she'd given up hope on loving another. That tended to happen when your fate was chosen for you. But after mere days with Jake, she'd seen that he was more than the others made him out to be. He was exactly the man whose life she had saved three months ago, just as blundering, stubborn, and naive as he had been when she first me t him. But Jake was no less of a soul than any man she'd ever met. He had the strongest, purest heart. He withstood the other clan members' coldness and apathy to his struggles, including her own at times, and still managed to smile at his own ridiculous mistakes. And, while alien and significantly abnormal, he was undeniably attractive.

Neytiri uncurled and solemnly laid on the ground, a few errant tears escaping her eyes. The earth gentled pulsed with energy where she was. Eywa would watch over her this night, she knew, but she felt completely alone, forgotten amongst the sheltering tendrils of the Tree of Voices.

The Great Mother did not take sides and would not erase her pain, this was something that Neytiri knew was her own responsibility. She had no desire to go home, to face her father, mother, friends... and _him_ again. She was not yet ready for such a thing. Her heart twinged as Jake's face flashed before her eyes, every detail seared into her memory.

She would stay here and return in the morning. She would act as though nothing had happened. She had no choice but to feign strength. If her father and mother were to discover her feelings for Jake.. she shuddered at the thought of their reaction. She had disobeyed them before but never to this extent. This would be much bigger, she knew. She would be a named a betrayer of her own race.

Neytiri closed her eyes, breathing deeply, wishing desperately to be anything but all that she was.

"_Sister, wake up!" _an urgent, familiar voice whispered, rousing Neytiri from her fitful slumber. She passively opened her eyelids, surprised to see Tsu'tey crouched over her, concern etched in his features. He offered her a hand, which she took, pulling her to her feet.

"_Are you all right? What has happened?"_ he asked. Neytiri knew he suspected something more than idle prayer had transpired. While irritatingly proud, Tsu'tey was not blind. She was almost certain that he'd seen her and Jake sneak off together the previous night.

Perhaps he'd been on an early morning patrol or had snuck off to do some hunting before the others were awake, but Neytiri was skeptical of both. Now that Jake was out of the way, Tsu'tey was probably eager for her attention. Or perhaps he felt obligated, with their betrothal, to guard what was rightfully his.

While their mating would only be ceremonial, Neytiri did not relish the notion. With their various duties, their paths did not cross often and had not for many years. They had played together as children, had attended Dr. Augustine's school together as teenagers, but when their education had come to an abrupt halt with the first horrific attack of the Sky People, the elders of the clan had thought it important that their preparation for clan leadership be accelerated. It was over the course of total immersion in their new duties that the would-be-mates grew up, and apart from one another.

The clan was in a constant state of alertness after the first attack of the Sky People and the closing of Grace Augustine's school, and lived in fear of both losing their leaders, and not having one strong enough to succeed either.

Neytiri knew that all energy was only borrowed, and one day it had to be given back, but she did not savor the idea of losing her parents. She loved them both deeply, but if her mother were to die, she would have to take on the duties as _Tsahik a_t a younger age than any before; she did not doubt that Tsu'tey would be a capable leader, but she questioned her own abilities.

When Neytiri trained Jake, a task she felt should not have been hers, she came to see that sometimes, no amount of lessons can compete with life's incredible varied trials. She threw herself into his education, and he did too, eventually, but even then, inevitably, challenges would arise that she couldn't adequately address…

"_I am fine, Tsu'tey, go back_," Neytiri said, resigned. "_I need to be with Eywa. Leave me."_ That should've gotten rid of him. She was to be the next _Tsahik_, and her time spent alone in prayer was important. Hopefully, he would respect that. He didn't.

"_It is not safe here. Any day, the sky people could be here. Please come with me, Neytiri."_

She had never heard the usually proud and unreadable Tsu'tey sound so desperate. His voice was tinged with fear, and something else…concern?

"_Is something wrong?" _Neytiri inquired. It was unusual for her to see him so unsettled. Tsu'tey usually exuded almost unapproachable confidence and usually seemed too preoccupied with his own duties to bother with being anything more than polite to her. Jake would've said he was 'cocky.'

"_You will see when we are back home. You must know the truth. He must tell you…" _With that, Tsu'tey firmly grasped her hand and made to pull her away in the direction of Hometree. Neytiri didn't budge.

It was strange. In that simple movement, she felt her heart stutter and her breath catch in her throat. Deep inside, Neytiri felt a twinge of something foreign, unknown, and peculiar. Tsu'tey looked at her, curiously, expectantly. Neytiri said nothing, in fact, she could not have formulated words if she had wanted to, instead unabashedly staring at him.

He was not Jake. They were like night and day. But that was comforting, somehow. Tsu'tey was so obviously Omaticaya. High forehead, almond-shaped eyes, of a slimmer build than Jake, three fingers on each of his hands... Neytiri had never stepped back to fully see the man Tsu'tey had become, usually too distracted by her own bitterness towards his indifference. She was amazed at how stunning he had become.

"_Please,"_ he said, retaining the same desperate tone, "_I don't want to worry about you."_ Tsu'tey stepped closer to her, keeping hold of her delicate hands in his larger pair.

"_You worry about me?"_ Neytiri asked, her words barely audible. This was new to her. He cared? He was all that she saw, in that moment, all she could comprehend. All the other worries of the world, for Jake and for her people suddenly seemed trivial.

"_Everyday," _Tsu'tey said, quietly.

His one word served as the catalyst. This was the first indication in years, that her future mate had not given up on potentially loving her. It eased the heartbreak and rejection that still clung to Neytiri from the evening before.

She felt him embrace her tenderly, and press his lips to hers.

She felt every inch of him on her, warm, inviting, comforting, as he deeply kissed her. The thrill was like her first flight with Seze, or jumping from a sheer forest dropoff, trusting that the leaves would lessen the fall. It was security and safety and trust, but thrill and uncertainty and beauty, all manifested in one simple gesture, like nothing she had ever imagined.

Their breath rose and fell in ragged synchronization. Neytiri felt Tsu'tey's eager touch on her arms, her waist, her back, and moaned quietly. She felt him gently pull her to the ground, still embracing her, the urgency of their kisses increasing. Neytiri did not want to leave it at this, and neither, she suspected, did he. She could feel instinct threatening to consume her if they did not stop. They should not.. they could not. Not now. It wasn't time…

"_Stop, Tsu'tey!"_ Neytiri spoke, sharply. He instinctively leapt from her, tail lashing, looking hurt.

"_Neytiri, I-I am sorry," _he stammered, not meeting her eyes, "_I do not know what I was thinking. Please forgive me."_ They regarded one another from some distance. She crawled towards him, tentatively, kneeling beside him.

"_Do not say such things,"_ Neytiri soothed, sincerely_. "This is all new to me. I have barely spoken to you in months, Tsu'tey."_

"_It would seem that you have been preoccupied," _he said bitingly. _"You are always with that moron dreamwalker. Never a free moment for those who have loved you your whole life."_

His angry words, no doubt fueled by what he perceived as rejection, spoke to her insecurities, as if he had looked directly into her thoughts.

"_Forget the moron," _Neytiri said, angrily, _"before him, what? We do what we're told, for the good of our people. We make no move to be friends. You have competition, and suddenly I exist to you again?"_

She knew that her words were harsh, maybe unnecessarily so. Pain at her angry statements was etched across Tsu'tey's face. Tsu'tey, the best warrior of the Omaticaya, reduced to a vulnerable mess by a woman who'd thought they were a lost cause. He remained silent, refusing to meet her gaze, finally speaking after what seemed like an eternity,

"_I was stupid, ignorant, a moron myself. I tried to talk to you, but you never seemed to care for me, so I let you be, thinking you would realize. It was our duty to love one another, and I never thought it would not work out that way. But Jakesully came, and I realized that things were not that simple…I couldn't expect you to know my feelings if I didn't tell you. I still believe, Neytiri." _

Tsu'tey's words floated up like a [seed from the Sacred tree], drifting quietly and slowly to rest in the depths of Neytiri's soul. She couldn't imagine the difficulty it took for him to bare his emotions like this. It was all so sudden.

"_Someday, we must be mated before Eywa," _Neytiri whispered, _"It has always been that way. But I had thought that because this was not our choosing, we could never love. I was afraid that I would be unhappy all my days, Tsu'tey. I'm not anymore." _


End file.
